'08 Has Arrived

New Year's Eve just would not be complete without drunken obnoxiousness. This year however, I must admit my evening was quite tame. Somehow, I managed to make it through the night without either a.) flashing anyone, b.) sexually assaulting a police officer or c.) laying down on the sidewalk and refusing to get up. I consider that a relative success. The closest I came to trouble last night only involved a verbal confrontation and some mild threatening.

After a few hours of dancing (it might be more appropriate to call it "tearing up the dance floor"), Andrew and I went to gather our coats from the stool where we had left them at the beginning of the night. The previously unoccupied chair had been taken up by a girl who was accompanied by a few friends. I went over and grabbed my scarf from the chair, but the drunken idiot grabbed the other end of my scarf, claiming it actually belonged to her and refusing to let go. Oh, no, no, no, I said. Perhaps if this was another scarf, I would have cared slightly less. But this particular cashmere scarf was not a cheap purchase and even being as drunk and tired as I was, I wasn't going to walk away without what was rightfully mine.

I repeatedly told the girl in a stern tone that this grey scarf was mine, and that she needed to let go immediately, while she barked back at me that she was the true owner of this "lime green" scarf. At this point, what appeared to be the girl's boyfriend stepped in to help, reasserting to the drunken mess of a girl that this item was not green nor hers, and she needed to let go. But his suggestion was of little help, as she remained unyielding, the tug-of-war continued and my anger intensified. At this point, I was getting very annoyed. In my slightly inebriated mind, I was clearly a brute force to be reckoned with, and felt completely justified in leaning in closely to the girl's face, staring her straight in the eyes and telling her multiple times that if she didn't let go of my scarf "right now", I was "going to punch her in the face." It never got to that point however, as Andrew, who also decided it was a good idea to throw in a few physical threats for good measure, was able to take the scarf from her grip. Victory, finally.

I asked Andrew to wait at the door for me while I found my coat, as I didn't want the klepto to jump up and grab my scarf again. I was relieved when I retrieved my coat from under the table without a struggle, pleasantly suprised that she didn't try and snatch that too. But this girl apparently still wasn't done quacking at me; now she had a different grey scarf in her hand that she claimed was, in fact, mine. It just so happened that this scarf did actually look a bit like mine, so I glanced outside at Andrew waiting by the door, and in his hand, clear as day in the light of the street lamp, was a neon green scarf.

Oops.